Everlasting Love

I thought about the love that I have found when I searched my heart, my mind and my soul. I gave the love to you, and in return want to be loved. If you truly understand love, you will understand that true love can exist between us.

The love I found in my heart, my mind and my soul is far more than a physical attraction or magical moments. It is the ultimate joyful relationship between us where I care as much for you as for myself. If you understand love, you know it is the deepest commitment you can ever give me.

If we had loved each other, the look in each other’s eyes would not fill with lust but only love. When our hands touched, we do not feel desire but filled with deep feelings of love. When we are together we know that our love will not fade and will truly last a lifetime....

Eternal Love

After my internal search, I believe love is what all people should give each other. I have perhaps not only found what gives life meaning and purpose right now, but also found that which makes it worth having faith in life beyond the grave.

At this point I just want to embrace without questioning the ideas of eternity and the goodness of love. I am saying I know you are finding it virtually or perhaps totally, impossible to decide whether or not to believe that love is worth living for.

If you do not know and understand what love is – give your heart to me. Only when you are willing to search your heart, mind, soul, your very being, to know love, will you understand the decision to love or not to love.

Only then can you make your choice.

Love Song - Adele 21

My last song to him.....

A Broken Heart

I guess it's unrealistic... to think that someone out there would actually wait for you because he said you were special. I was waiting and waiting for him to look into my eyes (for real) so that he will know how much I loved him. He never did. He never wanted to really see me. I wanted him to tell me how amazing I am and that I am everything he ever wanted. I know that no one can ever be truly satisfied or content with everything in life and that goes especially for one's significant other.

I came back from Australia (deep in me, I wanted to finally meet him). I was not disheartened by his refusal to come and see me. I consoled myself by saying maybe it should wait and that the time will come when we will finally see each other. I wanted him to continue to keep our friendship strong, but instead, he felt threatened and kept himself away. I don’t know what he is thinking. I am not asking him to compete with anyone, for my heart only belongs to him.

This is all I know, I would have waited a long time for that close to perfection imagery I've got in my head. This man is everything I ever wanted in someone. And I'm pretty sure he felt the same. But today, was the last draw. I told myself, I will not allow him to make me cry again, ever again and he did today. I am out of here, I am gone. There is nothing much I can do. I love him, but all I see are the mistakes of the past. What can you do to find proof that love legitimately exists between us when we are both so far away? I feel ruined, like I have a withering heart in my chest. I don't even feel like I belong in a relationship, because he a kind of man that belongs with a woman that can understand him. I can’t, I can only inspire…..

Most Kids Don't Have You, Mom!

by Aizad Addean Abu Bakar on Monday, May 9, 2011 at 10:50pm

Dear Mummy,

This is a letter dedicated to you and all these years of love and devotion... Reading the letters and photos you posted up, made me realize that it's not that often that i send you one of these... so even if it is slightly late (mother's day was yesterday), I hope it shows how much you've made an impact in your children's lives...

• Most kids grow up wishing they could hug and kiss their moms to show their love... well I can still do that even till this day!
• Most kids need to find a pillow to lie infront of the TV... At 23, i still think my moms lap is the best spot in the house
• Most kids are afraid to bring their girlfriends home to meet their mom... Here I have my mom bringing girls home to meet me!
• Most kids are forced into lying their way to get out of school... well my mom signs a letter, lying to my teacher for me
• Most kids grow up hoping to have a mother who understands.. I grew up having a mother who understood me more than i did myself...
• Most kids learn to play the guitar from friends.. Well my mom taught me how to play "Oh Carrol" on the darn thing...
• Most kids hide their "unspeakables" from their parents underneath the mattress... well my mom hid her unspeakables from me in the top cupboard..
• Most kids get a cake for their birthday... I get 3 remarkable one-of-a kind-paintings hand-painted by mom herself..
• Most kids get punished by pulling their allowance... my mom tells me she'd pull my man-parts "panjang keretapi"..
• Most kids are taught to obey and accept the rules.... my mom taught me to question why things are so and believe in what FEELS RIGHT..
• Most kids are told what to be when they grow up... my mom told me to just be true to myself
• Most kids are only told of what's wrong with the world... well my mom shows us that we can do something about it
• Most kids spend their afternoons after school watching cartoons... i get forced into watching my mom cry over the Oprah show
• Most kids are told to fear the unknown... well my mom taught me to not know fear...
• Most moms have photo albums of her kids and her freinds...my mom has a photo album on facebook called "girlfriend untuk aizad"
• Most kids cant remember the crazy stuff they did as a child... well my mom posts it on facebook so you never forget!
• Most kids poop in the toilet and clean up after themselves.. Well i pooped in my pants in class and my mom did a great job cleaning me up after..
• Most kids are bullied and picked on in school... well my mom bullied the bullies back and wrote to the principal too!
• Most kids have parents who write to their teachers or school... my mom still offers to write to my boss & employer
• Most kids have parents who are boring and lame... well my mom dances, sings, paints, writes, plays instruments, and reads poetry...
• Most kids never learn because of overprotective moms.. I have a mom who teaches us to learn from our mistakes..
• Most kids wish their mom was cool...well unfortunately I have a mom who's cooler than me...
• Most kids go on secret holidays with their girlfriends... my mom lets us take our gfs on holidays with us...
• Most kids have moms who bury their faces in books... i, on the other hand, have a mom who's a facebook addict..

Most kids hope that their moms are proud of them some day... but I believe nothing beats having a mom to be proud of everyday :D

Love you panjang keretapi,

Aizad "Jendul" Addean

Happy Mother's Day Letter

I have to let you know....that I have the most beautiful letter from the most wonderful daughter on earth. It brought tears to my eyes..and I want to share her letter with you............

The letter was written in a red paper. I presume it is because she knows my favourite colour is red. On top of the letter there is a sticker picture of her and me which we took in a picture booth when she was 3 years old. A beautiful memory.

The letter was written with a gold ink and it says "Happy Mother's Day! ♥ " at the top. The contents of the letter says "To my number one super mom. I may not be good with words like Adel, I may not know how to express my love for you like Aizad, but no matter how, I will find my way to let you know how much I ♥ you and how grateful I am to have you in my life."

‎"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, AMIRAH!"

‎" ♥ you until the earth's out of water :) ♥ "

I must admit my three children are like me. They express their emotions well. I tried to control my tears and continued reading...... This was written behind the letter. "Dear Mum, we always argue like there's no tomorrow, we fight, we don't talk, we laugh, we make each other happy, cause that's how we are. ♥ But even though you make me feel like I'm the lat person you need, even though you don't share much things with me like you do with Aunty Sayang, I get it."

‎"Cos I know you only share memorable (epic) things with me only :> You are a mother to die for. I will and always have ..... Love you with all my heart! ♥ "

I cried...and I cried..... of course ... I was so touched. She ended the letter with .... "You shall be the queen of the day, and I am here to serve. x "

Then at the bottom of the letter she added a slogan "EVEN WHEN I TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, I STILL COULD SEE YOU SHINE"..... Ahhhh....I am the happiest mother in the world...... truly, a mother cannot ask for more....!!!!

Moments

I love you, my only one. I do not know in my mind why I love you. I do not want to know in my mind. It is sufficient that I love you. It is sufficient that I love you in my soul and in my heart. It is sufficient for me to rest my head on your shoulder when I am sad, lonely and in solitude, or when I am happy, entranced and full of wonder. It is sufficient for me to walk by your side to the top of the mountain and to tell you every now and then "You are my companion, you are my companion".

An advance birthday wish for "A" - 11 May 2011