by Amirah Husain on Monday, August 30, 2010 at 6:13pm
I called up my best friend today. Told her I am going off for a holiday for 10 days. Asked her if she wants to come with me. She said, "How come you have so much money, travelling here and there?" I had no choice but to tell her that I will be getting my EPF cos I am turning 50. Of course I didn't expect her to laugh and said "OMG......you're half a century!!" In my heart, I said "Babi!!!!"
I sat back and thought, holy crap, how the hell did that happen? 50? I am hitting a major milestone in a few days. I think most people would not want tell their age, but I am thrilled to pieces. I am not growing older, I am growing better. Actually, whatever it is, I can't run away from it. Everything about me is pretty much intact however I want to tell you what sucks and what doesn't suck.
But I swear I just turned 30 about 2 years ago. Which means in another 4 years: poof! I'll be hitting the bucket. I need a little more time to figure out how to fucking slow the time down. Then this morning, as I looked up the mirror in the bathroom, I asked myself, what happened to you? I checked on the lighting and said "wrong direction". It has casts creepy shadows and the reflection is of a 100 year old woman. I stared again. Where was that fresh-faced-30-year old version of me that lives in my head and my old photo albums? No, it is the real me, with frown lines, freckles (wished I didn't spend so much time in the sun), sagging cheeks especially around the corners of my mouth. I went to my computer and took several shots of me and even with the most flattering light, it doesn't help. I then said to myself, no matter how much people exercise, I don't think they can avoid the wrinkles around the neck. I gave up.
I am sure you have seen my status on fb many times about colouring (touching up) my gray hair. Well, surprise surprise, I not only have gray hair, I also happen to find two strands of gray eye brows. WTF!!!!!!!! I said, they are silver (or ok, white) that are appearing with increasing frequency serve to remind me that I'm not young anymore. That part I don't like at all, cos how do you colour your eyebrow???
I know I am 50 cos the fasting month tells my body so. Seriously, I have not so much energy, no more muscle strength, and having trouble loosing weight. But what the heck........So the major drawback to hitting my fifties seems to be the idea that I'm in my 50's--and the assumption that life will soon start to accelerate in a downhill direction. And yet, I hang out with folks in their 50's, 60's, and 70's who are still kicking ass and having a blast.