Monday, June 20, 2011

Old Soul & A Young Man

Many men would like to have a young woman as their partner. Many women too nowadays feels that they can afford to have a young male partner as more women takes care of their body better than our mothers used to.

As for me - I am an old soul. I don't think I can ever have a young man as my lover or partner as I feel that he will always challenge me through his incapacity to relate to the higher plane of existence that I have reached.

I have a feeling that whatever may encounter between a young man and old me will result in hurt and confusion. I want a soulmate who is one that is as old as I am, because I think a young man will find it hard to live up to my spiritual expectations.

I may feel like I like him a lot, that I may love him, but somehow we are not reaching a common ground between us. This young man still needs to make the same mistakes, before getting to a higher level of spirituality and that is why for an old soul like me, it would be impossible to find a soulmate in a young person.

I am always and still is in search for a soul that is the same age or older than me.

Sorry to disappoint all those out there!

Friday, June 17, 2011

I Have Forgiven

I slept with thoughts of you in the strangest way that I have ever felt in my life. Those days I closed my eyes with the confidence that I had you completely, entirely, but now left me with sadness and anxiety. Here I am again, writing something for you, like how I have always been, but this one, today will be different.

I loved you, I think I always will. I made myself miserable because I do not want to let go of that feeling, of that much love I have inside my heart for you. I've gone through a whirlwind of emotional torment, a phase of not knowing what I will be, but wanting only one thing, and it's you.

I wanted you for the rest of my life, and dreamed about doing everything together when we have the chance, but I realized, that we never really want these things.

Now I plan alone. At this very moment I'm setting myself free, to that much love I have from you, to that agony I went through waiting for you, burning that thin strand of hope that I have clinged to the moment you trashed me. This doesn't mean that I will forget you. I'll just stop mentioning your name and everything about you. From this day onwards I will live again. I will do my best to regain the life I have lost with any man who deserves to be loved for the rest of his life.

We have given each other enough time. I have given you all my love, and I'm sure I will love again. And when I love again, I will look back at all of these things and know somehow I do have fond memories of you. There should not be goodbyes for goodbyes mean forever not looking back. I am sure one day we will meet.

I have forgiven you, so you have to forgive me......please...!!!

Slice of Emotions

Waves of Emotions

Rained of Emotions

Ruined by Emotions

Was A Bed Of Roses

Burst by Emotions

Thursday, June 16, 2011

It Snowed

Love is so deeply a part of me, so far beyond definition and description. For you love is so elusive as you only halfheartedly seek it. You will know and understand love only if you engage in a very personal search of heart and mind and soul which leads to the very essence of your being.

Do you understand life? For life is love. I can't make you understand love. You alone must be willing to take the inward journey. I will repeatedly urge you to do so, for nothing can take the place of that understanding.

It Rained

You think you already know what love is, when in fact you don't.

Sometime during our lives the majority of us will believe we have found true love, even though we have not. Many of us will go to our graves believing we have loved, when we never loved at all.

It Shined

It is very easy to stop short of understanding love. The idea of pure, real love, is so alien to our experiences, so foreign to the world we live in, we subconsciously, and even consciously, reject it as a non-existent fantasy. Yet it does exist. Because we seldom, if ever, witness such love does not mean it is less than real. Because the experiences of our past and the realities of our daily existence attack love does not mean it is a fantasy. Our doubts and fears, desires and temptations, weaknesses and longing to "live", cannot change the fact that pure, true, real, love exists, and that people can love one another.

Kayla & Oma

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Everlasting Love

I thought about the love that I have found when I searched my heart, my mind and my soul. I gave the love to you, and in return want to be loved. If you truly understand love, you will understand that true love can exist between us.

The love I found in my heart, my mind and my soul is far more than a physical attraction or magical moments. It is the ultimate joyful relationship between us where I care as much for you as for myself. If you understand love, you know it is the deepest commitment you can ever give me.

If we had loved each other, the look in each other’s eyes would not fill with lust but only love. When our hands touched, we do not feel desire but filled with deep feelings of love. When we are together we know that our love will not fade and will truly last a lifetime....

Eternal Love

After my internal search, I believe love is what all people should give each other. I have perhaps not only found what gives life meaning and purpose right now, but also found that which makes it worth having faith in life beyond the grave.

At this point I just want to embrace without questioning the ideas of eternity and the goodness of love. I am saying I know you are finding it virtually or perhaps totally, impossible to decide whether or not to believe that love is worth living for.

If you do not know and understand what love is – give your heart to me. Only when you are willing to search your heart, mind, soul, your very being, to know love, will you understand the decision to love or not to love.

Only then can you make your choice.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Love Song - Adele 21

My last song to him.....

A Broken Heart

I guess it's unrealistic... to think that someone out there would actually wait for you because he said you were special. I was waiting and waiting for him to look into my eyes (for real) so that he will know how much I loved him. He never did. He never wanted to really see me. I wanted him to tell me how amazing I am and that I am everything he ever wanted. I know that no one can ever be truly satisfied or content with everything in life and that goes especially for one's significant other.

I came back from Australia (deep in me, I wanted to finally meet him). I was not disheartened by his refusal to come and see me. I consoled myself by saying maybe it should wait and that the time will come when we will finally see each other. I wanted him to continue to keep our friendship strong, but instead, he felt threatened and kept himself away. I don’t know what he is thinking. I am not asking him to compete with anyone, for my heart only belongs to him.

This is all I know, I would have waited a long time for that close to perfection imagery I've got in my head. This man is everything I ever wanted in someone. And I'm pretty sure he felt the same. But today, was the last draw. I told myself, I will not allow him to make me cry again, ever again and he did today. I am out of here, I am gone. There is nothing much I can do. I love him, but all I see are the mistakes of the past. What can you do to find proof that love legitimately exists between us when we are both so far away? I feel ruined, like I have a withering heart in my chest. I don't even feel like I belong in a relationship, because he a kind of man that belongs with a woman that can understand him. I can’t, I can only inspire…..